Dont stick sharp metal hooks in your mouth

I know.....a weird name for a blog, but it actually relates to my trip to the dentist this morning.  Didn't your mother used to always say don't stick any sharp objects in your mouth? And what does the first thing the dentist do? Yep....gets a grappling hook and sticks it in your mouth.

This morning I had an appointment at 8AM....what a way to start your day! Well it is partially my fault.  I have never been the best at taking care of my teeth. Add the fact that diabetes takes it toll everywhere including the teeth and gums, that makes for a hopeless cause.....but this isn't about my dental hygiene.

Lets face it, going to the dentist cannot be a joy to anyone. The poor guys try to be so nice and uplifting but you cannot be! I simply cannot "put a smile" on my face when greeting my dentist knowing he is about to alter that smile. You are led to the smallest closet room on earth and they set you in a chair that is reminiscent of an interrogation process. They lean you back and shine a blinding light with the illuminosisty of the sun in your eyes. And then the fun begins.....lets see if this guy can stick all of his latex enshrined hands into my mouth! yep, yep i see.....how has your day been...AHHHHAHHAH. That is nice.  What are you doing for the holidays...AHAHHAHHHHHAHH. That sounds fun.  Come on you cannot understand a word I am saying unless you also are a retired code reader from the navy.  I cannot even understand what I am saying with all these gadgets in my mouth.

Gadgets. They include: one shining metal grappling hook (when utilized properly it catches and the dentist reels you in like a marlin on a fishing expedition); one face sucker (used to slurp up all the slurp before it spills out on to the tiny napkin attached around my neck with a roach clip); one jet powered water gun used to blast the inside of your mouth (note to self: choose wisely when you select your appointment date......cold weather makes the water line very cold.....makes water gun very cold....makes sensitive teeth set on edge); little mirror tool (lets be sure to add another metal object in my mouth...all the better to see you with my preeety). All of this usually comes after the shots of numbness juice with the longest needle listed in the Guinness Book of Records. This lovely product makes your entire face, lips, chin and tongue numb just so you are sure to slobber all over yourself like a two year old. yeah great!

And we pay to have this enjoyment. ha ha ha. All in all it isn't too bad....that is until the fun numb wears off. Beware of drinking a glass of water while numb....beware of eating any crunchy stuff while numb.....I think I will treat myself to nice ice cream Slurpee for the rest of the day.....oh yeah....still cannot talk intelligible.....oops.

My friends, my only words of wisdom for you today (I write this still numb.....not joking, for real) is remember to brush and floss! Thanks Dr. D. You are the greatest!