The Circle of Life

Well, we first heard about the circle of life from the famous Disney Lion King movie.  Our family, with all the young kids at the time, watched it over and over........and over and over. It seems that many times we reminisce about a past experience with our now grown children and use a quote from one Disney movie or another to recall the moment.

However the discussion of the circle of life never really entered into the discussions. The words of the song appear like this:

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking step into the sun
There's more to be seen than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
Some say, eat or be eaten
Some say, live and let live
But, all are agreed as they join the stampede
You should never take more than you give

In the circle of life
It's the wheel of fortune
It's the leap by faith
It's the band of hope
Till, we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of life

Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rollin' high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps the great and small on the endless round

This week begins another transition in our lives. Not sure I have grasped the total reality of everything that will take place. It has come the time for my mother to move in with us.  She is calling it an extended visit. The Circle of Life. For now we are letting her call it a visit but she needs someone to watch over her now she is at the age of 80. There is nothing wrong with growing old...we all do it. When we get older we begin to forget things, we have more illness, we have more medicines, we cannot get around quite like we used to.  Nothing wrong with that....it is better than the alternative.

As a teenager, my grandmother (my mom's mom) came to live with us in Oklahoma for many years. Teenage boys are not the most energetic individuals about sensitivity. I had older siblings growing up and by the time I was in elementary school, most of them had grown up and moved away.  I had the house to myself. My mother and father worked in their tax business and I often times found myself home alone. Pretty typical for right after school. During the tax season, my parents often worked late in the evenings and I was home alone then as well.  It was either that or stay up at the office with them....no thanks.

So when my grandmother came to live with us, my territory was invaded. It actually wasn't that dramatic.  I just had the rule of the house and now I had someone to chat with instead of being alone.  I wish I had taken the opportunity to write some of her stories down. It would have been great (now) to recount her life growing up.  She was the only grand parent I ever got to meet so it was special.  Looking back I can say that the only thing that really irritated me about her was when she took over the remote control.  Television was her life....isn't that so true about older folks.....the television is their connection to everything. She had to watch Little House on the Prairie or The Waltons. Those were not the favorite shows of a teenage boy. And back then we only had one TV. Isn't it strange that years later I marry a girl whose favorite shows growing up were just those!

My grandmother went up to my aunt and uncle's home in St. Louis for the remainder of her days and unfortunately I never got to see her again.  I never even made it to her funeral. A very sad accounting now that I think about it.  I missed out on a lot.

As a father, we have gone through the mass Exodus of all our four kids.  Okay, again a bit more dramatic than actually occurred.  It just happened.  My wife and I had our children pretty young and they just grew up. I can honestly say that I wasn't really sure that I was ready for that.  It has probably affected me far more than my wife. One by one each left for college or for the mission field and then marriage and now making their home. Currently two are married, one lives near us in Norfolk and the other in Colorado.  One is just finishing up a mission work in South America and will soon be headed back to Texas to finish up school.  I expect a wedding announcement soon.....I probably shouldn't say that on here....oops. And finally our daughter just announced her wedding plans for January.  Basically all of them no longer live in our home. It was always our intent to have them grow up and send them out of the nest.....what would be the alternative?

We are actually very proud of them all.  It is exciting to see them begin their lives and careers......and I am sure families soon too.  Don't call me grandpa yet.....however I believe that my grandpa name has already been coined as "PAPA T". A spin off of MR. T and COACH T from the younger days. At 46 my wife and I had found ourselves as empty nesters. As first, tragic.  After we got used to it...okay, after I got used to it.....later.....it was kind of nice. We could go anywhere at anytime....nobody to report to...except for MAVRICK.

As a son, now yesterday I spent the day home from work preparing my daughter's old room for my mother.  It is painted a bright cheerful turquoise.  I cleaned the room, made adjustments for the lighting and heat, and prepared the bathroom for her needs. This will be a transition for us but I think it will be very nice. Different but nice. There will need to be time for all of us to make adjustments....even the dogs....they need to learn how to get along and share their bones.

Later this weekend, we will get her a cell phone, set up her computer with Facebook and an email account (she is baulking a bit at me on this one but I think it will be good. We need to keep her mind busy and active.  TV will not be her only outlet. She can connect with friends and family from all over.  It wont be that complicated....she is a smart lady, just hasn't had the need to use it in awhile) We will be making a few repairs around the house, many of the things we were wanting to do anyway.  I just need to get them accomplished now.

I am excited, and happy....my mommy is here. After all the years of her watching over me and taking care of all my needs, I get to help her.....It is The Circle of Life.  I don't intend on wasting these moments.  This will be a great Christmas! Take care my friends.

The Next Steps of Life

It is always amazing to see your children take their next steps in life.  Yes it was exciting to see them take their first steps in life but once they begin their life and using some of the tools that you provided them all those years of growing up, is rewarding. Fruits of the labor so to speak. All of our kids are successful in their own way and continue to form their lives as they begin, continue and mature their relationships. It is interesting to see what parts of 'our' lives that get adopted into 'their' lives. For me, it has never been about a competition with our kids.  We always have wanted them to do better than us. Make better decisions than us. Have a better life than we did. To be successful in whatever they wanted to do or be. That is always our reward.

I got the opportunity to visit their church and to watch my son teach the middle school and high school class. Something I did for many years.  He was asked to substitute one of the classes for the regular teacher who was going to be out of town that weekend.  And then the other class teacher asked them to combine theirs also. The combined class was probably far more students than I have ever had to teach (on a regular basis), their church is much larger than ours was or is now.

Over the years, I had to be very spontaneous due to the limited number of teachers in our church. Often substituting or filling in. My son had the same occasion by just being informed on the Thursday before....but then throw in other age group and you really cannot use the standard material provided.  Teaching the teens always requires spontaneity.  If you can get any of them to speak....you have to run with it. You take what you can get otherwise you end up speaking to a bunch of faces staring back at you half asleep. I know...I have done it many times.

My son did quite well. He created his own lesson for the merged class based on a lesson he heard once on the history and prophecies of the city of Tyre from Ezekiel. However he started off the class by asking the question, "Why are you here in church this morning?". You can imagine the response that you get from a bunch of sleepy teenagers.....yep..."because I was told to get in the car this morning." or "It is just the thing we have always done since I was a baby." and even "We were brainwashed from a young age." Finally after a little prodding, you get them to say that they are there because THEY want to, not because their parents forced them.

As I sat there listening to the comments, I was imagining a handful of years (maybe a large handful of years) ago when my son was the student and I was standing in front of the group. The question he asked the teens twisted in my mind as the kids responded and told how they were "guided" by their parents into the church. Most all of these kids are there and have always been there because of their parents. Even my son was originally in the church because my wife and I attended. It wasn't until later where the faith became his own. He attends not because we tell him, expect him, or force him. It is his decision. I was the only one sitting in the room that was there because of a decision I made as an adult. A different perspective.

The teens also never thought about WHY the parents want them to be in church. That it is an important message that they want them to hear.  Maybe something in our youth that we didn't get to hear ourselves. Maybe we had to struggle more than we want our kids to struggle, because of poor decisions we made along the way.  Again we wish the best for our kids......it is so exciting to see the growth and the motivation of our children to continue with a piece of what we started so many years ago. A blessing indeed. Continue to PRAY for your children my friends.