Happy Father's Day

Father's Day is one of the odd days when we finally do what maybe we should have been doing everyday of the year....appreciate our fathers. Actually, I think, for me anyway, Father's Day is about giving rather than receiving...on either side of the coin.





As a father myself for over 26 years, I felt it was my responsibility to GIVE to my children. Give to them the best I possibly could. Give to them the best clothes I could afford, Give to them good food to eat, Give to them a place to call home, Give to them the best opportunity to grow and prosper, Give to them all of my love, Give to them the best of my time. Today it isn't about receiving gifts from my children. To me it still is about me continuing to give to them in ways that allow to still be a responsible father. Maybe now, it is ADVISE I give. Lord knows I have had lots of experience in "how to deal with..." issues.  You know those....cars breaking down, water heater blowing up, job not all that it needs to be, raising children (I am not a grandfather yet so this doesn't apply at the moment), how to treat their mother, how to put enough pennies to gether to pay a bill....and probably many others that you can imagine.

These days, I might be able to pay for some groceries or take them out for dinner a little bit easier than I could when they were little and we struggled to gather those pennies. Those things are still precious to me as a father....to be able to GIVE.

Was I always the best at those things, I am sure not.  I look back a realize there were many times I was a bit of a "ogre like" father. A bit over demanding, a bit too scary, a bit too loud, a bit too short of patience, a bit too busy, a bit less than I wanted to be. You know, I think that it takes a lifetime to become a good father....but only a short time to become a bad one.  It takes a whole lot of hard work to be a responsible father....but hardly any work at all to be an irresponsible one. It takes many hours to develop trust....but just a few short minutes to destroy their faith. For some men, being a father takes lots of practice.  For others, it is natural. I am not sure where I fall on the rankings.  I can tell you that I feel I had always fallen short.  I tell my wife, every time I hear that song by Cat Stevens, "The Cats in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon," that I wish I had been better at raising the kids.....when that time was available.

Over 26 years ago I lost my father. He passed away from a heart attack before my second year of college when he was 52 years old. There are times when that is extremely painful. There are times when I wish I could see him again and just talk with him. I never got to ask him those special questions about LIFE.  About how I deal with all the struggles as a young man growing up.  Never got to share my family with him. He never got to brag on his grandkids with me. I never got to visit him at home on Father's Day. You know, right now I don't even remember anything that I ever gave him on Father's Day. Maybe it has just been too long. Today, I wish I could give to him that silly card, a phone call, a hug.

My father still GIVES to me today. He has given me many memories of our times together.  I have had the ability to share some of the ridiculous stories about my father with my family. How my father once blew a green bubble gum bubble in his face while he was driving and almost wrecked us.  How my father once went running after someone and fell and tore a hole in his suit. He was so mad! How my father bought a big station wagon and a travel trailer and the station wagon broke down the next day. He was so mad! How my father sat with my mother in the stands and watched me play football in high school. He didn't know anything about football. How he went out and mowed the lawn in the most god-awful outfit ever forcing me to run out and take over the task for fear of MY embarrassment. How my father bought me every possible tool I needed for college to help prepare me to become an architect. That was his last year with us.

I remember the vacations, I remember the special Christmas gifts, I remember growing up in his office...probably why I ended up starting my own business. I remember his laugh.  I remember his snoring on the living room sofa so loud I couldn't hear the television. I remember his dark rim glasses, his powder blue polyester suits, his combed back hair over his bald head. I don't remember any bad times.  I don't remember any sad times.

Time on this earth goes quickly. A lot quicker than we can ever imagine.  We think we have all the time in the world but before you know it the sand is gone out of our hour glass and we are left wondering where it went to.  I wish I had more time with my father.  I wish I had more time with my small children. Take time my friends, to share with your loved ones.....time and memories are the only things that last....make them special.  Happy Father's Day Dad...I Love You.

My Father's Story
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