What Do I Want To Do?

Have you ever woke up in the morning and just felt like you didn't know what you wanted to do? The feeling that nothing really mattered and nobody really cared what you did either? You were tired and really needed a break but also had so much responsibility built up in your blood stream that you couldn't possibly "play hooky"? That your tasks lists are so long that it begins to dwarf the U.S. Constitution? Feel like doing something that makes a difference today but then again what really makes a difference at all? Needing to exercise because it is good for you but why is it good for you?

Ok so I guess you can tell where my mind is this morning.  I could have probably added "I want to blog but what do I really want to say?" or "Even if I write this, who is really reading it?" But then it all comes back to the reason why I write.....To gt stuff out of my head. There are days when I feel that my head is so full of discombobulation that I don't know what to do.  I have so much that needs to be done....and yes so much that I want to do but cannot find the top of the list to begin.  I suppose it should all begin with writing down some sort of list and create priorities. That in itself sounds like a lot of work.  Why is it that I feel compelled to create all this LISTS?

I have a Production List at the office telling us what needs to be done, A Marketing List that indicates how I want to reach out to new customers, A Home Repair list of the never ending chores and repairs that need completed, A Major Renovation List for the home upgrades we would like to do, A Grocery List that usually never involves me actually going to the store, A Medicine List of all the ridiculous meds I take for diabetes, A Vacation Destination List for places I want to visit, A Movie List of the movies I haven't seen yet, An Exercise List for how I want to stay fit, A Running List for races we plan on doing over the next several months, A Bucket List for all the many things I still want to do and go before I "KICK IT", A Bill List for all the people we owe....I have two of those, one for work and home! A Reading List for books I want to eventually sit down and read, A Dream Project List of ideas I want to create for the office, A Goal List for the direction of the firm, and yes...even a BLOG List for things I might find interesting to even write about.

Why is tarnation...(I love that word) do I have to have so many lists! What is the need to stay, or at least feel like, in control of everything? Because with all these lists I feel more like I am out of control, out of time, out of my head, out of money, out of ideas, out of energy, out of patience, out of .....for the love of Pete....I don't know who Pete is but for the love of him anyway!

Can you see my conundrum? I think it is possible that there might be men coming to visit me in nice white coats......My dear friends....enjoy your day...even if you don't know what to do any more than I do. Only if life could be a bit less complex?

co·nun·drum/kəˈnəndrəm/

Noun:	A confusing and difficult problem or question. A question asked for amusement, typically one with a pun in its answer; a riddle.
Synonyms:	riddle - puzzle - enigma - mystery