Saturday, December 24, 2011

BAD GUYS of Christmas

Have you ever noticed that in every movie or story there is always something about a bad guy, villain, evil dastardly individual etc that is trying to ruin Christmas?  Why is that? Why are all these guys trying to destroy our favorite holiday? You we have enough stuff in our lives that seem to drag us down and here we go with the criminal minds adding to it.  Why is it that some curmudgeonly, cold-hearted scoundrel always has a leading role in the best Christmas movies — even the ones crafted for children? Do we really require some naughty with our nice? This is just our nature....good versus bad.  We cannot help ourselves but to create conflict, overcome evil, save the day.  What makes a great super hero? A super villain! I have added a few to this list and lets see if you can remember them.....how many of these stories have you watched this Christmas?!!!!


Burgermeister Meisterburger
This grumpy Gus made his appearance in the animated classic "Santa Clause is Coming to Town". As part of Santa's supposed origins, the Burgermeister was the mayor of the small mountain village where Kris Kringle first passed out his toys.  When the Burgermeister tripped on an errant toy duck he banned ALL toys! By making Kris an outlaw he forced Santa to go down chimneys to deliver his toys under cover of darkness.....Now you know who that all started.  (Hey fellow cartoon lovers...doesn't the burgermeister's voice sound like Boris Badenov?)

Heat & Snow Miser Duo
The terrible two introduced in "The Year Without Santa" brings us the two nasty brothers by the name of Heat Miser and Snow Miser. The Misers were the epitome of sibling rivalry (we all know about those right?) and it was only through the intervention of their Mother Nature that Santa was able to get back to business.....(and you thought you had drama in your family) I love these cartoons!

The Martians
Really?! Martians.....how did they get involved in Santa.....Lets through all the fables into the blender and see what comes out. I just saw this a few weeks ago and my wife thought I was off my rocker.  "What are you watching?" A serious low budget...extra extra low budget and say I shall saw.....really bad! "Santa Clause Conquers the Martians". Again...Really?!


Old Man Potter
Of course....the best holiday movie tradition in our family is "It's A Wonderful Life".  I already wrote about it here. He was the meanest old man...and richest in Bedford Falls and made George Bailey's life miserable. Potter goes down as the quinessential Christmas villain because there was no redemption for him. Wanna stump your friends? What was Potter's first name? Henry....or how about Bert and Ernie? The cop and cab driver became the names in our favorite afternoon show Sesame Street!

Jack Frost
He is all over the place in different shows from movies to cartoons.  There are even horror movies with a Jack Frost in it. He is always causing trouble, more like mischief so I wont really put him in as a "villain". He was always freezing everyone.  I like the claymation one best....but "Santa Clause 3" is pretty funny as well. Who doesn't like claymation?


The Gremlins
What a warped little Christmas Story. Don't shine a Bright light on them, don't get them wet and whatever you do....DON'T FEED THEM AFTER MIDNIGHT. Those three simple rules to follow of course are broken in this wacky one of a kind Christmas present disaster. The Gremlins go huge and we all know who Gizmo is....right?






Hans Gruber
Who? What? How is this a Christmas story? " Die Hard". Remember, he counts as a Christmas villain because Hans and his crew picked an office party to raid. Unfortunately, for all of them, John McClane was on the guest list. Bruce Willis made the famous words, Merry Christmas...&%#*!@. Yeah, that one. For the scene when Hans was supposed to take a death tumble from the tower, Alan Rickman (the actor) was actually dropped 21 feet to an airbag. To get the right reaction, he was let go on the count of "2" instead of "3".  The look on his face is priceless!



Harry and Marv
I hate this movie. Dumb and Dumber meets Santa. I cannot image that a mom would forget her child at home...come on really? And the bungling villains are just plain ridiculous. The kid actor I have never really liked because he acted like a spoiled brat.....maybe he mom really wanted to leave him behind? All in all the simple story about a little boy accidentally left behind "Home Alone" for the holidays while two inept burglars attempt to rob the house....they fail.

The Grinch
What else is there to say? He a mean one...Mr Grinch...and yet the funniest cartoon combination for a villain of Christmas.  I love the old cartoon movie (really just a short clip) because of the narrator's voice, famed horror actor Boris Karloff. Dr. Suess first brought the Grinch to life in his 1957 book, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". At first Theodor Geisel objected to Boris because he thought his voice might scare the kids too much.  Thankfully, he was over ruled and a classic Christmas villain was brought to life.

Scrooge
This has to be the longest and oldest running Christmas story around....well certainly the scroogiest around. The oldest version is still the best....a bit freaky actually....Think about it...three ghosts visit you over one night......and I thought I had weird dreams! If there has to be a number one Christmas Bad guy well it has to be Ebenezer Scrooge. The "Christmas Carol" scrooge archtype essentially what every other Christmas villain strives to become......BAH HUMBUG!

So don't be a bad man this Christmas.....get rid of your scroogieness....don't be a Grinch. Have some holiday cheer and eat some cookies by the fireplace and wash it down with eggnog...or milk......Just don't eat it after MIDNIGHT! And remember, It's a Wonderful Life George Bailey! Have a Merry Christmas my friends......tell me, how do each of the bad guys get defeated!

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