The Circle of Life

Well, we first heard about the circle of life from the famous Disney Lion King movie.  Our family, with all the young kids at the time, watched it over and over........and over and over. It seems that many times we reminisce about a past experience with our now grown children and use a quote from one Disney movie or another to recall the moment.

However the discussion of the circle of life never really entered into the discussions. The words of the song appear like this:

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking step into the sun
There's more to be seen than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
Some say, eat or be eaten
Some say, live and let live
But, all are agreed as they join the stampede
You should never take more than you give

In the circle of life
It's the wheel of fortune
It's the leap by faith
It's the band of hope
Till, we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the circle
The circle of life

Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rollin' high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps the great and small on the endless round

This week begins another transition in our lives. Not sure I have grasped the total reality of everything that will take place. It has come the time for my mother to move in with us.  She is calling it an extended visit. The Circle of Life. For now we are letting her call it a visit but she needs someone to watch over her now she is at the age of 80. There is nothing wrong with growing old...we all do it. When we get older we begin to forget things, we have more illness, we have more medicines, we cannot get around quite like we used to.  Nothing wrong with that....it is better than the alternative.

As a teenager, my grandmother (my mom's mom) came to live with us in Oklahoma for many years. Teenage boys are not the most energetic individuals about sensitivity. I had older siblings growing up and by the time I was in elementary school, most of them had grown up and moved away.  I had the house to myself. My mother and father worked in their tax business and I often times found myself home alone. Pretty typical for right after school. During the tax season, my parents often worked late in the evenings and I was home alone then as well.  It was either that or stay up at the office with them....no thanks.

So when my grandmother came to live with us, my territory was invaded. It actually wasn't that dramatic.  I just had the rule of the house and now I had someone to chat with instead of being alone.  I wish I had taken the opportunity to write some of her stories down. It would have been great (now) to recount her life growing up.  She was the only grand parent I ever got to meet so it was special.  Looking back I can say that the only thing that really irritated me about her was when she took over the remote control.  Television was her life....isn't that so true about older folks.....the television is their connection to everything. She had to watch Little House on the Prairie or The Waltons. Those were not the favorite shows of a teenage boy. And back then we only had one TV. Isn't it strange that years later I marry a girl whose favorite shows growing up were just those!

My grandmother went up to my aunt and uncle's home in St. Louis for the remainder of her days and unfortunately I never got to see her again.  I never even made it to her funeral. A very sad accounting now that I think about it.  I missed out on a lot.

As a father, we have gone through the mass Exodus of all our four kids.  Okay, again a bit more dramatic than actually occurred.  It just happened.  My wife and I had our children pretty young and they just grew up. I can honestly say that I wasn't really sure that I was ready for that.  It has probably affected me far more than my wife. One by one each left for college or for the mission field and then marriage and now making their home. Currently two are married, one lives near us in Norfolk and the other in Colorado.  One is just finishing up a mission work in South America and will soon be headed back to Texas to finish up school.  I expect a wedding announcement soon.....I probably shouldn't say that on here....oops. And finally our daughter just announced her wedding plans for January.  Basically all of them no longer live in our home. It was always our intent to have them grow up and send them out of the nest.....what would be the alternative?

We are actually very proud of them all.  It is exciting to see them begin their lives and careers......and I am sure families soon too.  Don't call me grandpa yet.....however I believe that my grandpa name has already been coined as "PAPA T". A spin off of MR. T and COACH T from the younger days. At 46 my wife and I had found ourselves as empty nesters. As first, tragic.  After we got used to it...okay, after I got used to it.....later.....it was kind of nice. We could go anywhere at anytime....nobody to report to...except for MAVRICK.

As a son, now yesterday I spent the day home from work preparing my daughter's old room for my mother.  It is painted a bright cheerful turquoise.  I cleaned the room, made adjustments for the lighting and heat, and prepared the bathroom for her needs. This will be a transition for us but I think it will be very nice. Different but nice. There will need to be time for all of us to make adjustments....even the dogs....they need to learn how to get along and share their bones.

Later this weekend, we will get her a cell phone, set up her computer with Facebook and an email account (she is baulking a bit at me on this one but I think it will be good. We need to keep her mind busy and active.  TV will not be her only outlet. She can connect with friends and family from all over.  It wont be that complicated....she is a smart lady, just hasn't had the need to use it in awhile) We will be making a few repairs around the house, many of the things we were wanting to do anyway.  I just need to get them accomplished now.

I am excited, and happy....my mommy is here. After all the years of her watching over me and taking care of all my needs, I get to help her.....It is The Circle of Life.  I don't intend on wasting these moments.  This will be a great Christmas! Take care my friends.

There are Some Things I Don't Understand

TASTIDU for short.  Your right.... I just made that up. That's okay, it's my blog and I can make up stuff if I want.

You know it seems quite ironic how this world works and how we perceive things in life.

• When we are small children we need our parents to help us with so many things that we care not able to do yet.
• When we get older we are stubborn and want to 'do it ourselves' until finally we get help from mom and dad.
• As teens we are invincible.  Nothing can hurt us and we know everything and our parents know nothing.
• As young adults we set out on our own to discover our own paths, often forsaking the wisdom that was shared by our parents own mistakes.
• As a young family you begin to see and feel the struggles that our parents warned us about.
• As we enter midlife the cycle returns back to the beginning and we see more clearly and understand life a bit more.

From a parent's perspective this is such a hard thing to watch and observe.  We want to be there catch them and lift them out of the grime.  But truthfully we cannot.  We cannot because that grime is what allows them to grow, allows them to understand life on their own, allows them to gain strength, allows them to obtain perspective and yes....causes them pain.  It is the burning of the hand on the stove lesson.  If they don't experience the heat, they wont truly understand the pain. As a parent it hurts us more......yep, we heard that from our dads just before he gave us the swat, "This will hurt me more than it does you".  Yeah, right dad! Your the one holding the paddle....what going to hurt you? The kickback on that wooden paddle in your hand? We just don't understand at that young age that the HURT we feel as parents is WATCHING you make mistakes that we couldn't prevent you from learning the hard way.

So what have I learned as I approach the age of 46 with kids (young adults) from 25 to 17? I have learned a lot.  Learned that I probably made huge mistakes as I raised my kids, learned that I never really understood what I needed to do as a DAD.  Never found that 'operational manual' that was needed for each kid as they are ALL different. Learned that each day provides opportunities for you to fail or succeed. After 46 years.....I really still don't understand anything.

The only thing I DO know is I love my kids and pray for them each day. That is the only thing I can do. Be safe my friends.

Yard Work

There was a time many years ago......okay maybe not that many years ago, but some time has passed.....when the yard work was a different animal for our household. We bought our house because it was on a corner lot with lots of side yard for the kids to play and a pretty good size backyard (for our neighborhood anyway). I never really cared too much what the yard looked like as long as the grass was cut for the Nazi Association people! I know that isn't nice to say, but they are pretty ridiculous sometimes......come on, give me a break...grass in the cracks of my drive way!!??? Sometimes that was the only place grass would actually grow!

The kids used the sideyard for so many years as a football field.  Most of the time we never needed to mow except for up against the house because they trampled it all down.  After a rain the yard became MudBowl! One giant brown pit in the yard! We had the ugliest yard in the neighborhood but who cared....the kids had a blast.  There was a time when I had the Courthouse Rec League field equipment that we painted football lines on the yard.....yep....and the kids loved it.....neighbors....not so much.

The planting of our yard was never a pressing desire.  I didn't care for a bunch of flowers...mainly just shrubs and green plants. We didn't have any money for new plants anyway.  It just was too much non-initial expenses for our budget. When we first moved in the house we had these two MASSIVE pompous grass bushes on both sides of the driveway entrance near the street.  You couldn't hardly see to back out.  The kids often took the "spears" off of the plant, got on their bikes and used them as lances and they rode towards each other at break neck seed.  After many hours of chopping, whacking, weeding and pounding those big bushes were totally removed.  A stump remained for a long time after until we finally regained some strength to chop that out with a pick ax!

Other bushes around the house were pulled out and replanted in different places but never really any major plantings or mulch beds were created.  We did add a elongated mulch bed reaching from the corner of the house out to the tree in the middle of the front yard after we exhausted of trying to keep people walking RIGHT NEXT TO OUR HOUSE on the way to the mail box!  Kids I can understand....but ADULTS....come on.  I will admit we tied our KILLER DOG up to the tree many times to have him back and growl at everyone as they tried to navigate our front yard. (I got to tell you that after the mulch was added there was some who had to go out of their way to go around the mulch bed....no not out in the street....but actually right up against our house!.......They could have touched the window they were so close........GET REAL PEOPLE!)

Anyway, the back lawn always grew twice (maybe three times) as tall as the front.....Front was mowed because of the Association Police, the back grew with the added "dog fertilizer"...never was a important to mow...but did get quite high from time to time. The boys always did the yardwork for me. The mowed and weed-eated.  As long as it was cut, I was happy.  There were times when I tried to tell them about the details, but it really never sank in.  If I was ever out there mowing....everyone knew I must be MAD or something.....I never mowed.

All that has changed over the last several years.  Since the kids are all older, no more football practice evenings, no more football Saturdays, no more baseball days, soccer days, softball days, basketball days.....and on and on and on....they have grown up and moved on to school, mission field and marriage.  I now take care of the lawn. Yes, now I COACH the flowers.  I love the backyard.  I have pots, plants, vines, mulch beds, stone works.....and more. The backyard is my peace.

These last two weekends, I have worked to get the mulch beds in order for the season.  Re-planting some of the annuals, trimming up the dead or the over grown, digging up and transplanting, weeding, trimming and mowing all of the yard.  It is hardwork and I don't have the same stamina anymore but I like the results.  It is some what satisfying. I cut the lawn at different angle, spray for weeds, edge the mulch beds, trim the bushes and tree limbs. Finally after all these years, I can finally have a yard that the everyone, including the kids (when they come home) can finally be proud of.

Now....to take care of the neighbors giant bulldog who keeps POOPING on my lawn! PEOPLE, COME ON ALREADY!  Have a great Summer my friends! MOW HAPPY!