Am I Annoying?

Do I dream too much? Do I share my aspirations and goals too frequently? I have often in my life been very positive about everything. Confident that if I set my mind to it I could accomplish whatever I truly desired. I always thought it was good to share that positive nature with others around me but I recently have begun to think differently.

Maybe I'm just too much for others. An annoyance. Maybe I'm one of THOSE peoples that are just so overly positive that they make you sick. Certainly never wanted to be like that. Just thought that sharing the dream and positivity was healthy. It could be the opposite reaction for others when they hear me speak. When they hear me talk about the good things to come. Regardless if it is just for me or for everyone around me that will benefit from these good tidings.

Maybe it would be better to keep things to myself. Maybe it would be better to hide away my feelings whether they are good or bad. Sink into my office and close the door and not let out any of my emotional expressions. I'm feeling that way now. I'm feeling that I'm being resented. Am I paranoid? Am I overly sensitive? Possibly. More than likely. It is the diabetes talking?

Who really cares? "Just let me do my thing and stay out of my way" might be how most people feel. If that is the case then my whole strategy on team building has been entirely wrong. I've been going down the wrong path. It isn't about team.....it's really about self. Withdraw from others and hide away could be the response. Friends, family and workers are just nice enough not to say it to my face. There sick of me. Sick of what I have to say. Feel that I'm a hypocrite. I certainly don't mean to be. Just struggling to be more, to be better, to encourage in the best way I know.

Maybe is just me alone in this world. Running down the lonely road of dreams. I hear that Whitesnake song every time I go running. Maybe that is me. Maybe that is my reality. Maybe everything is just in vain. What am I trying to do here? Why is it important? Or is it only important to me? I'm tired. Tired of worrying, tired of trying to please everyone, tired of trying to make peace between everyone, tired of trying to be a friend. I guess I'm tired of people.....maybe a deserted island is a better place for me? 

I don't know where I'm goin'
But I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again, here I go again

Tho' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams

Here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time

Just another heart in need of rescue
Waiting on love's sweet charity
An' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams

Not everyday is roses around here. There are a lot of thorns. 

Eugene Thompson

ET This I Believe