Amazing, isn't it? How another day jumps right in to action so quickly after the last. I remember when there was a time early in my life that a day would last forever.....weeks would last for an eternity.....and the month of August...well, it just never ended. Now each week flies by.....And I mean flies....really flies. Yesterday was March! It seems that the older I get the more I try to be organized and set up "bench-marks" or deadlines or goals....something that helps me plan out the week and get organized in some sort of manner. I am King of Lists. Make a list, check it twice, revise a list, add to it, expand it.....recreate the list...you get the idea. And I do them all by hand, no computer lists....it just doesn't have the same feeling.
Maybe all of these lists that have been created are linked to the calendar. The calendar marks each task deadline to complete and with each completion of each task the line on the calendar moves right on as well. The quicker I complete the tasks....the quicker the calendar moves too. I don't know....maybe. All I know right now is this coming November I will be 46. Wow....it was only the other day I was 26.....okay maybe I should use 36.....anyway, it is gone. Yeah, I know the new list is the "Bucket List"! I am not so eager to finish that one but it does have 50 items on it, so maybe another 50 years. We can only be so hopeful!
There are several things that I have noticed has changed as time is flying by:
1. My children going older and coming into their own. Yes I should be happy and proud of this, but often times I feel very lonely around this house that was always so crowded. The screaming for so-in-so to get out of the bathroom....they couldn't WAIT any longer. I miss it. It makes me sad. My wife says get ready for the grandkids.....yeah, but that isn't the same. I enjoyed the massive "Christmas Lists" I always kept secret on my cell phone.
2. I like more and more to just be quiet. It has always been hard for me to sit still. I always had to get up and do something. Mind you I wasn't a over-achiever on the "To-Do List" (my wife wrote that one) but I always wanted to get up and do something, go somewhere, get something, see someone...whatever. Now, lets just sit and do nothing. That is nice. The best planned vacation....go somewhere and do nothing.
3. Medicine.....wow, let me just say I must be falling apart. I used to take vitamins all the time...more than you could name.....Now, so so many meds to keep me going....so many, yes, I have to make a list! "The Med List", in my phone! This gets real old and to set my watch to take a certain med at a certain time.....blah.
4. Not as much energy in the tank anymore. I have noticed that I cannot do much of anything anymore without having to sit down. Well first of all I would rather do item #2 above than mow the lawn. (my list of doing nothing vs my wife's list of to-dos). Fixing something around the house and before long I am sweating and just plain tuckered out. I need to get in shape.....I know what I will do....I will create an "Exercise List" with work outs set to a timeline for a deadline to run another half marathon....(already did it...hasnt worked)....alas, if only making a list would burn some calories.
5. Right along with Item #4 is the fact that I am fat.....cannot get the weight off very easily because of Item #3, don't have any energy from Item #4 and quite honestly enjoy Item #2 too much! Have a belly, have some flab, bone white skin, bald head....hey I am old too! Oh well.....that would be something nice to change....for the better and not let time and gravity take its effect.
6. Patience....never had it and often times caused internal explosions which resulted in outward casualties to anyone nearby. Some say "He so so patient"...poppy-cock! I just plain blow-up all the time...DID anyway. Just ask my kids and my wife. They could make an "Explosion List" of all the times I would get angry. They feared me when I got mad. That probably made them all want to run away when they could! It has hurt my relationships I am sure of. Now, I feel more times than not and have harnessed the ability to contain the blasts.....calm myself and direct others in a more peaceful manner.....don't get me wrong.....I still explode....you just don't see it.
7. Ironically, another thing I find I have more of is Time. Okay maybe it isn't really more of, but maybe now I have found the ability after all these years to take better advantage of it. I take time to reflect on my feelings and thoughts (in this blog). Enjoy the garden on my patio in the mornings with my wife and a cup of coffee. Maybe even a peaceful stroll from time to time.....(don't get this confused with the exercise list! - It doesn't happen THAT much). I guess I have finally taken time for myself now. This I won't try to make a list for.
There once was a time that everything took forever and we seemed to have all the time in the world. not so true anymore. LIFE IS SHORT, very short! Each day does move by quicker than the day before. The hillside has changed. For so many years I was climbing upwards, not sure when it occurred but I know at some point in time that the scenery changed and now I am on the other side and going down the hillside. That doesn't make it easier, doesn't mean I have accomplished all my goals and I can now enjoy the rewards. It would be nice, but it isn't so. So much more to get done just yet......but I feel I need to hurry before the bell rings and show is over. I probably haven't taken time as much as necessary but I really need to ENJOY LIFE. At least the rest of it.
Take advantage of it my friends...don't waste it...enjoy the short time we have here on this earth.
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